Why is this world so cruel?
by stormy-xxl
Summary: Sara decides to get drunk in a bar after a tough case. Catherine runs into her by accident.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hey everyone! I got bored at work one week and occupied myself with writing a new story. Like my other stories this one is about Sara and Catherine. The plot is nothing new. I'm sure it was done a lot of times before, but I just felt like writing it:_

_Sara is getting drunk in a bar after a tough case and Catherine runs into her by accident._

_I hope you enjoy reading it anyway :-)!_

_And of course a big THANK YOU to Emily who's acting as my beta again! You are great, girl! ;-)_

_~Stormy_

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****Why is this world so cruel**

**Chapter 1**

_Why is this world so cruel?_ Sara had asked herself this question for the twentieth time this morning - but she still had no answer. She was well through her third beer, but still felt as depressed as she had right after her shift had ended. There were times when alcohol did make her feel better - for a few hours at least. Sara wasn't so delusional as to believe that it could solve her problems forever. Alcoholics did that - she wasn't one.

But it certainly would be nice if the memories would blur enough to let her sleep at least a few hours. Sara knew that if she went home now and tried to sleep it would be a waste of time. The moment she closed her eyes would be the moment when all of the pictures from the crime scene would come rushing back to her. And she didn't feel like facing that challenge right now. So, beer it was.

The brunette finished the rest of her beer and sighed. Why did she have to go to this crime scene anyway? Nick or Warrick should have gotten the assignment. Even young Greg would have been more suitable! Anyone would have been more suitable. But what did Gris have to do? He had to send her!

Sara knew that he wasn't the most sensitive man in the world. He was without question socially more inept than her - and that meant something. But that wasn't the reason why she was angry with him. The thing she couldn't understand was that he knew. Everyone knew that she had a problem with cases of domestic abuse, but HE was the one who knew why. After her suspension as a result of her fight with Catherine that one day he came by and Sara had told him - of course not everything, but enough to satisfy his curiosity. Even though a long time had passed since then she still wasn't sure whether or not she was glad that he knew.

Most of the time she thought it was good that he knew. Like that he could make sure that she didn't get the 'wrong' assignments - assignments which made her lose her professional distance. That was the general idea. So what the hell had made him send her out there tonight???

She closed her eyes for a moment and immediately the images of Marina Cruz came rushing back. The way she lay on the floor, the blood and the bruises from where her husband had hit her, the lifeless eyes staring up at her. But the worst thing was Lilly, the seven year old daughter, who knelt beside her dead mother, holding her hand and begging her to wake up. Sara shuddered. She ordered another beer.

_Why is this world so cruel?_

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"It's really good to see you again, Catherine." The man said, while holding the door open for the blonde CSI. Even after the long shift Catherine still looked fresh - and she was in a good mood. She hadn't seen Jack in almost a year. They had met at a seminar on blood spatter a few years back. They immediately got along ... and kept in touch; A telephone call here, an email there. It wasn't regular, but it felt good talking to him from time to time.

Like Catherine he was a CSI, his speciality blood splatter. He was normally working in Atlanta, but was here on vacation with his wife. She hadn't heard from him in a while, so she was surprised when he had called the other day. The blonde was even more surprised when he had announced that he was in Vegas and what she thought about having breakfast together. Catherine didn't have to think twice about it.

But after leaving the lab today she decided she didn't feel like breakfast - more like a drink. It was an exhausting shift. She even thought about cancelling altogether. But Jack would have nothing of it. He told her he never had a beer for breakfast, but there was always a first time and that he would pick her up at work. And so he did. That was about twenty minutes ago.

Since then they had chatted lively and Catherine's mood had increased rapidly. Jack was good company. He was funny, smart and charming. Of course she knew that he was married and anything beyond a friendly chat was out of question. But she wanted to enjoy herself as much as possible.

Catherine led the way to one of the booths in the back of the bar. It wasn't like the bar was crowded at this time of the day, but she found it more comfortable in the back. She was so absorbed in her conversation with Jack that she didn't notice the lonely figure sitting at the bar.

They slid into the booth opposite of each other and ordered their drinks. Before the waiter brought their orders Catherine excused herself. Still smiling about Jack's last joke she made her way to the ladies room. It was only then that her gaze fell on the familiar figure at the bar. She stopped and her smile vanished. Sara...

Catherine took in the appearance of her younger co-worker. Her shoulders were slumped, her hair out of place - probably from running her hand through it too often - and a beer in front of her. She was still clad in the same clothes as last night, which meant she hadn't gone home yet. Considering that Sara - on her own order - had left two hours before the official end of shift, that meant that she had most likely been here since then. And if that was the case, the beer in her hand had probably had a few predecessors. That wasn't good. She was about to move over to Sara, but suddenly stopped.

What would she say to her? Tell her that she should go home and start another fight with her? She had already expected one when she was telling Sara to go home earlier in the lab. The distress from the case was written all over Sara's face and she didn't understand why Grissom gave her this assignment in the first place. When she approached the brunette to tell her to leave early, she was surprised that Sara was hardly protesting. To her it seemed that she was glad to get out of the lab and away from the case.

While Catherine had hoped Sara would go home and sleep she obviously chose another way to deal with tonight's brutal case. She had heard about the case from Wendy, one of the lab techs. The moment she knew the details she knew that Sara would take it especially hard - like she does with all cases of domestic abuse. She had kept an eye on the younger women for a while but then decided that the brunette needed a break. She should have been alarmed about how easily she had given in, but instead she was just proud of herself for making the stubborn Sara Sidle go home early. Obviously a mistake...

Should she talk to her or leave her alone? She turned back to Jack, who was currently chatting with the waiter, telling him one of his jokes from the looks of it. He was oblivious to her inner battle. She looked back at Sara, who still hadn't seen her. She was taking another sip of her beer. Did she have the right to interrupt? Sara was obviously upset and the last thing she wanted was to make that even worse - or make her mad at her again. They'd been getting along lately - at least kind of. And she wanted to keep it that way.

Sara was a big girl. She could look after herself. With that Catherine made her way over to the ladies room.

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_A/N: Any comments? You know how much I love your reviews :-)!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Here's chapter two. This is just a short story so there will be only one more part after this._

_Special thanks to all those of you who left me review :-) I just love them!_

_Stormy_

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**Chapter 2**

Sara took another sip of her beer. It just wasn't fair ... life wasn't fair. She couldn't stop thinking about Lilly. She wondered where she was right now. With her father in custody and her mother dead there weren't that many options. Relatives would have been a possibility, but she couldn't find any tonight. That left the social services, which meant that the little girl was now with a complete stranger, shocked and scared. Sara knew those feelings - more than she liked to admit.

Maybe she should have worked harder tonight. Maybe there was some relative of Lilly out there who would take care of her. She shouldn't have given up like that. The girl deserved more than that. So why was she not still working like she normally would? Catherine...

The blonde had sent her home early and to her own surprise Sara let her. She had felt exhausted. But was that an excuse? Maybe she was just too tired to fight with Catherine. But did that ever stop her from working a case before? It never had until today. But besides trying to find Lilly's family there was nothing she could do. That drunken bastard who had called himself Marina's husband wasn't even denying anything. He had made a full confession. That left Sara to analyse a few pieces of evidence and crime scene photos, and to be honest she had felt sicker and sicker with every minute she looked at them.

She was sure that Catherine had picked up on that. The blonde probably felt sorry for her and wanted to do her a favour. Any other day she would have fought her tooth and nail - but not today. The brutal crime scene coupled with the memories of her own childhood had worn her out. She had figured that if she stayed any longer she would either break down completely or blow up at someone - and neither option seemed very appealing at that time. So she just gave in and left.

Sara was sure that the blonde had expected her to go home, not to a bar to get drunk. _Well, you can't always live up to everyone's expectations_, she thought bitterly. Another thing she had learned early on. At least she knew that Catherine wouldn't beat the shit out of her, if she found out - not like her parents had done. But she wondered what was actually worse ... the physical pain her family had usually caused or the disappointment and disgust that she would read in her co-worker's eyes if she found out.

She tried to take another sip of her beer only to find it empty once again. Sara cursed. This wasn't helping at all! In her current state of mind she would probably need another ten beers to forget enough about the case to sleep a little bit. Maybe it was time to switch gears. She signalled the barkeeper to come over to her. "Another beer?" The man in his forties asked her. The brunette slowly shook her head. "I'll take a scotch."

Why is this world so cruel...

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Catherine came back from the ladies room. Again she stopped to take a look at Sara. The brunette was still sitting at the bar, still holding her beer, still staring at the same invisible spot on the wall behind the bar, still looking ... defeated? Depressed? Sad? She wasn't sure how to describe the empty look on Sara's face. Like so often before she was worried about the younger woman - and like so often before she had no idea how to approach her.

She was a very social person, a person who could easily communicate with everyone. Well, at least most of the time. But Sara was a mystery to her. No matter what she said to her, it ended in an argument most of the time. She had often wondered why, but never came to a satisfying answer. Somehow the brunette just managed to get under her skin.

Catherine could think at once of five different situations where she had wanted to do nothing more than comfort the other woman - situations where she wouldn't have hesitated if one of the boys was concerned. She would offer comforting words, listening ears, and a friendly hug.

But not with Sara. With her it was different. Even though she felt the urge sometimes, she knew that the younger woman wouldn't accept her offer anyway. Sara was not one to accept physical contact. She was not one to talk about her feelings or her problems. Instead she kept to herself most of the time, dealing with her problems her own way. _Not always a healthy way_, Catherine added as an afterthought, when her eyes fell on the beer bottle again.

Suddenly remembering Jack, she shook her head to get rid off all the disturbing thoughts that were running through her mind right now. Sara knew what she was doing, didn't she? With one last concerned glance at her co-worker she turned and moved back to the booth where her companion was waiting.

Jack immediately picked up on her mood change. "Are you okay?" Catherine sent him a smile, even though it didn't reach her eyes. "Sure, I'm fine." Before he could ask any further questions, she picked up their earlier conversation. "So, you wanted to tell me how you cracked that serial murder case of yours." Jack shrugged, figuring that - whatever it was - she didn't want to talk about it. _Fair enough_, he thought, and started to tell her about the case.

During their chat, Catherine couldn't help but glance at Sara every now and then. She knew that the brunette could get upset over cases. She knew that she could get angry, lose her temper. Right now she thought that she would prefer that to the lack of emotion Sara displayed right now. Even if she didn't want to admit it, she was really worried. "Who is she?" Jack's voice ripped her out of her thoughts.

She blinked and looked at him. "What?" Jack smiled and took another sip of his beer. "Who is she?" he repeated his question, gesturing to the lonely figure at the bar.

Catherine sighed. Her plan to forget about Sara and enjoy her time with Jack obviously went out the window. "I'm sorry, Jack." She paused, glancing at Sara again who was still nursing her beer. "Sara. She's a co-worker. She had a pretty rough case last night. I guess I'm just a bit worried about her."

Jack nodded. "It shows." He smiled at her again to indicate that he didn't mind her divided attention. "Well, our job is rough sometimes. I guess we've all been where she is right now. Sitting at a bar and trying to drink away the memories..." He glanced at Sara before turning back to Catherine. "What was the case about?"

"Domestic violence. A drunken husband who was known for his temper beat his wife to death in a drunken rage. From the rumours I heard around the lab Sara found their daughter sitting beside the body and begging her mother to wake up. It must have been a bizarre scene." She inevitably shuddered at the thought.

"Sounds awful." Jack agreed. "Why don't you ask her to join us? Some company would do her good. She looks really devastated." Jack, like herself, was someone who had a special way with people. If it was any other co-worker they were talking about Catherine wouldn't think twice about his suggestion. But with Sara...

"That's not a good idea, Jack. Sara is..." She paused looking for the right word. "...different." She stopped again, not sure how to continue and how much to reveal without violating Sara's trust. Jack gave her time to collect her thoughts. "Sara is not the most social person in the world. She keeps to herself and hardly talks about her life. I've been working with her for six years, but I know almost nothing about her." she sighed. "And we are not exactly getting along. I would say we just tolerate each other most of the time. So I'm sure I'm the last person she would like to spend time with right now. And besides, she's probably mad at me anyways, because I send her home early."

Jack raised an eyebrow at her last remark. "Why did you do that? When I have a hard case I bury myself in my work and try to solve it. That's the only way for me to settle my mind." His tone wasn't accusing. It was just a question.

Catherine shook her head. She knew what he meant. Every CSI probably did, but she also knew that it was different with Sara. "You know I have a daughter. I'm a mother and that's the reason why I take cases where children are violated especially hard. For Sara it's the same with cases of domestic violence. I don't know why and I know she will never tell me." Jack nodded and waited for her to continue. After she had taken a sip of her beer she did. "We try to keep her away from such cases, but tonight my boss obviously had had a bad day. He gave her the case, solo."

"What happened?"

The blonde shrugged. "Fortunately there was not much to do for her. The husband is in custody and made a confession. I had expected her to be mad as hell, maybe attack the man or something, but surprisingly that wasn't the case. Instead she was distant. Even after she had done everything which was demanded by protocol, she was still analyzing the crime scene photos. To me it looked like she was torturing herself... maybe blaming herself for something she had absolutely no power over. That's when I send her home. And to my astonishment, she didn't even protest. She just left. And that look in her eyes had worried me." She glanced at Sara once more. "I had hoped that she would go home. This was really the last thing I wanted."

Jack reached over the table and gave her hand a squeeze. "I think you did the right thing. And if the case upset her that much, then give her a break. I think we all have been there...drinking the horror away..." Catherine nodded. She sure as hell had been there, but it was different with Sara. "There are rumours around the lab that she has a drinking problem. She almost got herself a DUI last year."

"Oh." Was all Jack said. That explained Catherine's sorrow. He tried to calm her down. "Maybe she's just having a beer before heading home."

"I sent her home two hours ago, Jack."

"Then talk to her."

"I don't want to upset her anymore than she already is."

"Then don't. But I think you should."

"Why? She's a big girl. Maybe you are right after all. Just a beer..."

Then Jack's face darkened. "She just switched to stronger stuff, whiskey would be my guess."

Catherine's head snapped around in time to see the bartender place the glass in front of Sara and take her empty beer bottle with him. Damn! This wasn't good. But talking to her would only make things worse, right? Especially when Sara was drunk there was no way they could carry on a reasonable conversation. "I would only make things worse." She muttered.

"Or better." Jack said. "Go talk to her. She listened to you before without a fight, right? Chances are good she will again. Maybe she even wants to talk. Give it a shot."

The look on his face told her that he wasn't accepting 'no' for an answer. She glanced at Sara again. Half of the drink had already vanished. Not good! "Fine." She took another sip of her bottle, placed it back on the table and stood up. "I won't be long."

"Take your time. This is important."

Catherine sighed. He was right. This was important. She could only pray that it wouldn't cause an argument... Slowly she made her way over to Sara. Even when she stood right beside her, the brunette didn't notice her. Not a good sign either. She turned back to Jack for a moment. He gave her thumbs up and sent her an encouraging smile. Right, she could do this.

Carefully she sat down on the bar stool beside Sara.


	3. Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

Sara groaned. She was not in the mood for company. Her alcohol affected mind decided that whoever had sat down beside her would go away if she just ignored them. So she went on nursing her drink without as much as a glance to her side. Time seemed like an eternity, but only a minute had passed. Her new neighbour was still at her side, but hadn't said anything yet. That was strange. Men who tried to hit on her were normally brasher. Finally her curiosity got the best of her. Carefully she turned her head slightly to the side.

No way! She was hallucinating. There was no way that Catherine was sitting beside her. Maybe she really had had enough and should just go home. She rubbed her eyes, blinked a few times and turned again to her side. If this was a hallucination it was a persistent one. Another minute passed without either woman saying anything.

Sara was becoming more and more confused. Then the barkeeper approached her...them...and asked what he could bring her. Since she still had scotch left in her glass he certainly wasn't addressing her. Unfortunately that meant that Catherine was really sitting beside her. And that could only mean trouble. Sara heard her decline the barkeeper's offer who left them alone again.

After deciding that it was unlikely that Catherine would just leave again, the brunette decided to face her fate. She emptied the rest of her glass and turned so she was fully facing Catherine. "Hey Cat! Long time no see." She slurred the words, realizing how drunk she already was. Not good.

"Hey." Was all Catherine said.

Sara blinked again, trying to focus on the woman in front of her. She had expected anger in the blonde's features or maybe disappointment or pure disgust. But none of those emotions were displayed on her face. If she hadn't known better she would have thought that Catherine was concerned ... really concerned. Could that be? Had to be the alcohol...

It would be so easy to get rid off Catherine. Sara knew exactly what buttons she had to push on the older woman to get under her skin. Fighting with her was so easy - so much easier than talking. But right now she was too exhausted, too drunk to fight. So instead of simply insulting her she asked casually. "What brings you here?"

Catherine looked Sara over. Her eyes were glassy, a clear indication that she was drunk. And she could smell the alcohol when she talked. _Oh Sara, what have you done_, she asked herself. Out loud she said. "I'm here with a friend: Jack." She gestured to the man still sitting in the booth, watching them with interest. "He's a CSI from Atlanta and is here on vacation."

Slowly Sara turned further on her bar stool to look were Catherine was pointing. She saw a man with black hair, casually dressed in slacks and a shirt, tall, attractive. She guessed his age around forty. She turned back and nodded.

Now it was Catherine's turn to ask. "What about you? What are you doing here?"

Sara thought about the question. "I'm trying to forget." It was a sad statement, but it was the truth. She held the older woman's gaze, waiting for her reaction, for the pity and disappointment to surface, but she was surprised.

"I figured." Catherine held Sara's eyes easily.

"You should go back to your friend. He's waiting. If he's here only on vacation you should use every minute you have. Don't ..." She paused, not quite sure how to continue.

Catherine helped her out. "...waste my time with you?" There was no judgment in her voice. It was a simple question. And it hit bull's eye.

Sara nodded. "Yep. Expresses my thoughts perfectly." After a short pause she added "So why don't you?"

Catherine glanced briefly at Jack before returning her eyes to Sara. "Don't worry about him. He can wait." Then, quietly, she added. "Right now I'm more worried about you."

"Don't worry. I'm fine."

This time Catherine couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, hmm? No offense, Sara, but you don't look fine to me."

Sara chuckled. "Alright, maybe I'm not fine. But there is really nothing you can do about it." Her face turned serious again. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do for her. And as long as Catherine didn't hold the power to erase her childhood to make this just another case, there was nothing for her to do.

Catherine knew she was moving in dangerous territory. So far everything was okay, but she feared her next words might change that. She said them anyway. "You're sure about that? There are actually people out there who believe that talking about problems helps."

Again Sara let out a dry laugh. "You know me, Catherine. I've never been one for talking. And I'm not going to change that now."

Catherine nodded. "I figured. Can't blame me for trying though." She gave Sara a warm smile, a smile which the brunette returned. There was still no anger between them. A nice feeling for once even if she could imagine nicer places and nicer situations for a private chat with Sara.

What was she supposed to do now? Sara didn't want to talk - no surprise there. So was there something else she could do? Suddenly three letters popped up in her mind: DUI. She had to prevent Sara from driving. But somehow she didn't dare ask her for her car keys. Right now they were talking; later on they would probably be fighting again.

"Just ask."

Catherine blinked. "What?"

Sara gave her a cocky grin. "Just ask the question you want to ask. I promise you I won't bite your head off. I'm way too exhausted for that." To emphasize her words she yawned.

The blonde hesitated.

"Come on Cat."

Catherine shrugged. "You asked for it." A short pause. "Do you mind giving me your car keys?" Sara tilted her head to the side, like thinking hard about her suggestion. At least she didn't seem angry, Catherine thought.

Sara's hand vanished in the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her car keys. She looked at them and then back at Catherine. "I actually do mind."

Before Catherine had any chance to voice her objections and give her a lecture about driving under influence the brunette continued. "I don't plan to drive. Not in my current state, which I'm well aware of. But I want to pick my car up before shift tonight and for that I need my keys. So I'll keep them."

Catherine let out a sigh of relief, before slapping the younger woman playfully on the arm. "You had me worried for a moment."

Sara grinned. "I know." Suddenly her grin faded and her face turned serious. The next question came unexpectedly for Catherine, totally out of the blue.

"What do you think will happen to Lily?" It took Catherine a moment to process what Sara was talking about. Then she remembered Wendy telling her about little Lilly and how they had found her at the crime scene.

Sara had turned back towards the bar and stared at the wall in front of her. Catherine bit her lip. What was the right answer to that one? She doubted that telling Sara that everything would be all right for the girl would do much good. She wouldn't believe it anyways. "I don't know. We can just hope that she will find nice foster parents - and a good therapist."

Sara had opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. She remained silent for a minute before turning back to Catharine and looking her straight in the eyes. "Why is this world so cruel?"

Catherine was taken aback from the pain and the sadness that were reflected in Sara's brown eyes. Reflexively she reached for Sara's hand. The moment she touched the younger woman she felt her tense up. Catherine thought briefly about removing her hand but decided against it. Instead she gave Sara's hand a gentle squeeze. When Sara didn't protest she left her hand on hers while desperately looking for a suitable answer to that question - but she knew there wasn't one. So she remained silent.

It was Sara who spoke up again, her voice detached, her eyes empty. "I don't understand how parents can do that to their child. They are supposed to love them, to protect them. Families should laugh together, celebrate birthdays and holidays together. A mother should cry when her daughter leaves for college and a father should give his daughter's boyfriends a hard time..." Her voice cracked. Tears started to fill her eyes. She blinked them away quickly.

Catherine didn't know what to say. She doubted that Sara was talking about Lilly anymore. Too painful sounding was her voice, too distant was her look. She wasn't here right now. She was miles way. In her own past maybe? The blonde didn't dare speak in case she broke the moment.

The silence between them stretched again and Catherine had the feeling that she should say something to urge Sara on. Talking about the case would certainly be safer than asking Sara about her own past. "You're right. That is what families should do. Lilly's father destroyed it all. He..." But she didn't get any further. Sara's head snapped around to her, her eyes filled with anger. Catherine winced. What had she done?!

"It's not just his fault." Sara's voice was filled with venom. "Her mother is to blame as well."

Catherine was surprised. "What do you mean?" Her voice was quiet and calm, but it didn't have the desired effect. Sara's eyes turned dark, almost black. The blonde was ready to jump up and run. She had the feeling that Sara would attack her any second. Carefully she removed her hand from Sara's to bring some distance between them. She never had been scared of the younger woman, but right now she was.

As quickly as Sara had turned to Catherine she turned back to the wall. Both of her hands were gripping the counter tightly, as if holding on for dear life. The blonde let out a sigh of relief. That was close. Sara went on, "He was known by the police. He had beaten her into the hospital half a dozen times before last night. Not just that the system failed to protect his family from him. It should have been the duty of the mother to take her daughter and leave that son of a bitch. But no! She stayed with him. She knew that this would never change. Men like that don't change."

A shudder ran down Catherine's spine, listening to Sara. The passion in her speech made it obvious that she knew what she was talking about. Was that Sara's secret? Did she live through something similar to Lilly? Was that possible? The blonde was almost certain that Sara's father was violent. But how close to this case was her past? Could it really be that she was keeping something as brutal as what had happened last night to herself? That no one knew about it? The thought alone made her sick. She was at a loss for words...

As fast as it came, the anger seemed to leave Sara's body again. Her shoulders slumped forward, the grip she had on the counter loosened. She hung her head, shaking it as if to bring herself back to reality. Catherine dared not speak; instead she carefully reached over to take Sara's hand again. But the brunette's quiet voice stopped her. "Don't. Please don't touch me." It was hardly more than a whisper, but Catherine had heard her - and she respected the wish.

She pulled her hand back to her side and studied the woman beside her in silence. Sara was taking deep breaths to get her anger back under control. Maybe she was trying to force all of the memories which caused her outburst back to the back of her mind. Watching the broken woman in front of her Catherine had to blink back the tears which were forming in her own eyes. _Why is this world so cruel? _Sara's earlier question came back to her mind. Unfortunately she had still no idea, but right now she would give anything to make it a little bit less cruel for Sara. But how?

When Sara turned her head back to Catherine, the anger was gone. And so were the pain and the sadness. What was left was an emotionless mask, one which she knew only too well from the woman opposite her. That meant it was over. Sara's opening up was finished. Her walls were back up. And there was nothing she could do for her, no comfort the brunette would accept. Again it was Sara who spoke up first.

"I'm sorry Catherine." Her voice was controlled. No trace of the earlier fury was left.

Catherine had to fight the urge to role her eyes. It was so typical of Sara to apologize in such a situation. A part of her told her to just accept the apology and let her off the hook. She decided against it. "Sara, there is nothing you have to be sorry for - nothing at all." She emphasized the last words.

Sara nodded slowly, expecting the answer. "I scared you. I had no right. I lost it."

There was no way that Catherine would admit that Sara had scared her. That would only depress the other woman further. "No, you didn't scare me. I know that your anger wasn't directed at me." Sara's brown eyes locked with her own blue ones. It seemed like Sara was looking for the truth in Catherine's words. The blonde held her gaze to reassure her. And it seemed to work.

Sara nodded again. "I should go home." With that she turned to the barkeeper, without waiting for a reply from Catherine. "Can you call me a cab?" The man nodded and turned to his phone which was attached to the wall.

"Sara..." Catherine started, but was interrupted by Sara who held up her hand to stop her.

"Catherine, don't. Just don't." There was a pleading tone to her voice.

The blond shook her head. "Just listen, okay? This was a confidential conversation. No one will ever know about it. I'm still far away from understanding you. You are too complex for that." She added the last part with a smile. "But - even if you don't agree - I think our little chat was good for you. I'm not going to mention this morning ever again, but when you - by some sort of miracle - want to talk, I'll be there to listen."

Sara blinked, obviously unsure how to react to her co-workers speech. The barkeeper saved her. "The cab will be here any minute." She nodded her thanks and put enough money for her tab on the counter. She turned to Catherine again. "I don't believe in miracles." With that she stood up.

Catherine got up with her and gently grabbed her arm to stop her from just walking away. Their eyes locked again. "It's never too late to change. I'll be waiting." She gave her one of her famous smiles. But it didn't seem to have the desired effect on Sara.

"You should get back to your friend." She gestured to Jack, who was still watching them with interest.

Catherine, knowing that there was nothing she could do anymore, nodded and let go of Sara's arm. "See you tonight, then."

The brunette nodded, turned around and headed for the exit. Catherine turned also, making her way back to Jack.

When Sara reached the door, she stopped. _Now or never_, she thought. She turned around and called out to her co-worker. "Cat?"

Catherine turned, surprised, and looked at Sara expectantly.

Sara immediately lowered her gaze to the floor. She hated stuff like this. "Thanks...I guess." Before the older woman had a chance to reply Sara turned around and left the bar.

Catherine smiled. Well, maybe there was hope after all for Sara Sidle in this cruel world.

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_A/N: Well, that was the third and last chapter of my little story. I hope you enjoyed it! I would really appreciate it if you left a review - if it's a positive or negative one doesn't matter. I'm just interested in your opinions. It's the only way I can improve my writing. _

_I want to thank again everyone who read this little piece and especially those who left me a comment and of course I have to mention Emily, my beta, again :-) I don't know what I would do without her!_


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